About yuzuhere : Just a lurking panda here, carry on.
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yuzuhere's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML
by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
by highheelcyanide / 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Love
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by That Guy / 11/01/2014 at 8:58am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML
by NoColor / 10/29/2014 at 9:09am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/26/2014 at 6:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…