Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About youngbutwise15 : Yo to the ho, I'm Abby, but I prefer being called Abby-Lynn if you don't mind.
Am I insane? Yes. Do I act like I have a stick shoved up my arse? Half the time, yes. Do I have a pet peeve for bad grammar and spelling? Yes, I do.
Speaks English, some 1337, and is currently learning German. :3
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Friday 7 March 2014