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Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (8016)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (58448)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31255) - you deserved it (2335)
On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (34539)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (10806)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91099) - you deserved it (6398)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (69671)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (9101)
On 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43333) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (9082)
On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (7821)
On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia
Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (3248)
On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)
Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (5924)
On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (7573)
On 03/14/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by alex - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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