My name is Matt, and I'm here to annoy.
By the way, that's Andrei Arshavin in the picture ... fact.
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7374) - you totally deserved it (19815)
On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)
Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you totally deserved it (4061)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32358) - you totally deserved it (2071)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
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