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yomamasmama

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yomamasmama

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 February 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2479
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About yomamasmama : I like monkies :D

yomamasmama's page activity

Visits<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:53pm<b>KimplicatedWreck</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 11:29pm<b>flopstar</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:24am<b>teentee401</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Jishiku</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Viscouz</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:39pm<b>hunteredmundson</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:49am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:31pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:36pm<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:23am<b>Aspyr</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:13pm<b>letmehavemytea</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:03am<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:18pm<b>VeroRose</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:01am<b>Bobbi_que_sauce</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Farishta</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:00am

yomamasmama's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

yomamasmama's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (34574)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (29283)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17301) - you deserved it (68370)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (6427)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49008) - you deserved it (5840)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12643) - you deserved it (44060)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101116) - you deserved it (5858)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101116) - you deserved it (5858)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (4275)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

#11966338
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you deserved it (18224)

On 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by anonmys - United States (California)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (43247)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (41239)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62552) - you deserved it (8542)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (7398)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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