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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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yeti09

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yeti09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2457
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yeti09's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (290) - you deserved it (37975)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (14564)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (58871) - you deserved it (4315)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML

#3642336 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (9127)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (54720)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578 (581)

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (22671)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (3381) - you deserved it (39694)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (13852) - you deserved it (42680)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (46365)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

#3553379 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (2505)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:00pm - money - by BrianP (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (12982) - you deserved it (41584)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

#3544165 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (42517)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by DMO (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (45260) - you deserved it (9225)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (64756) - you deserved it (1768)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

#3228837 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (2220)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)