Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yellowchocobo

Search for a member

yellowchocobo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1872
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About yellowchocobo : English/American studies student, book lover, movie addict, astronomy enthusiast and drawing - something. I'm just here for the laughs.

yellowchocobo's page activity

Visits<b>Taylor22294</b> - 3 hours ago<b>trey600rr</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:49pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:51am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Respect101</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:43am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:08am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:47pm<b>ares99</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:07pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:02pm<b>decimater</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:20am<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:18am<b>Mr_Relatable</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:38am

yellowchocobo's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of yellowchocobo's badges

yellowchocobo's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (64634)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (7614)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (5158)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (50099)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (13859)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43176) - you deserved it (19168)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (10543)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (80610)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (13088)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44839) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: