xxxdesperadoxxx

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Offline (the 03/04/2016 at 4:10am)

xxxdesperadoxxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 885
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxxdesperadoxxx's page activity

Visits<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:36pm<b>dcs00</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:18pm<b>joejoe1415</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:16pm<b>SLFrankyD</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:25pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:23am<b>morganlefey13</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:33pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:00am<b>briang959</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:04am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:58am<b>animelover9427</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:55am<b>Kain713</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:15pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 10:36pm<b>germy21</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 6:22pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:37am<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 5:11am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 11:14am

Fucked!<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:37am<b>dcs00</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 8:18pm

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xxxdesperadoxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

by Whateversz / 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

by ehwat / 11/26/2009 at 12:31am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

by jkon / 08/04/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

by OneYearMistake. / 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

by Divorcemenow / 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids