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xxxdesperadoxxx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy
by Whateversz / 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals
by ehwat / 11/26/2009 at 12:31am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by jkon / 08/04/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
by OneYearMistake. / 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
by Divorcemenow / 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…