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xxxdesperadoxxx

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xxxdesperadoxxx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxxdesperadoxxx's favorite FMLs

Today , To Show That He Really Wanted Me To Shave Myself , My Boyfriend Pretended To Go Down On Me , But Instead Of Following Through , He Stuck A Wad Of Gum In My Pubic Hair And Got Back Up . FML

#17789200
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (36675) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

TODAY, I REALIZD MY TAMPON GOES DEEPER THAN MY BOYFRIEND!! REAL FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52997) - you deserved it (6328)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85742) - you deserved it (13156)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I Was Taking A Dump Behind A Dumpster. I Suddenly Heard A Noise And A Vibration Against The Dumpster. It Was A Garbage Truck Lifting It To Collect The Trash. The Garbage Men Started Laughing And Took Out There Phones. FML

#17365713
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (72519)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

2day while stuck in traffic on the highway... my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". mega FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (2853)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Mah 400 Pound Roommata Brought Homa A 400 Pound Guy. Now Thara's 800 Pounds Of Sax Going On In Tha Naxt Room, And It Sounds Lyk Tha Invasion Of Normandy In Thara. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70066) - you deserved it (6586)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

today I was getting it on with mah boyfriend. I started to come screaming "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" Tohich he added "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (19971) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, mah boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over mah head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (5701)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, my grlfriend told me te reason se askd me to save my beard. Wen I go down on er savd, it feels more like er looool ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (3517)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, I OVERHERED MAH BOYFRIEND OF TWO YERES TELL HIS FRIEND HE WAS GOING TO "POP THE QUESTION". ECSTATIC, I WORE MAH NICEST DRESS AND GOT MAH HAIR DONE FIR DINNER. NEAR THE END, HE LEANT IN ROMANTICALLY AND ASKED IF WE COULD START DOING ANAL. SO MUCH FIR MARRIAGE. FML

#14326662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (7125)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at mah doctors office!! I had been having violent diarrhea!! It was the reason I was at the doctor!! Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes!! During that time, I diarrhea'd in mah pants twice!! There were seven other people in the elevator!! FML

#14187537
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99696) - you deserved it (5435)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. Ahole bunch of mah co-workers were standing around mehen she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with mah crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells lyk fish." FML

#14112923
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (15353)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Was Having Sex With Girlfriend When I Came. She Got Pissed And Slapped Me Really Hard For Cumming Inside Her Cuz She Didnt Want To Get Pregnant. 1. I Was Wearing A Condom. 2. She's On The Pill. 3. We Were Having Anal Sex. FML

#13661699
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65330) - you deserved it (9249)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge looool dump. After coming home from work I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet with the caption: "This ishat Taco Bell does."

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13519) - you deserved it (36672)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murderd my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37626) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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