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xxoriginalnamexx's favorite FMLs
by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
by FireoftheFuture / 05/02/2013 at 7:02am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Work
by unlucky / 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
- Today, I was smashing my lover and as soon I was about to nut, I tried to pull out but I stubbed my… Today, while having a drink, I noticed a gigantic spider about to enter my mouth. I instinctively… Today, I was doing gymnastics with my friends out on a field after school. While doing a handstand,…