xxmarissaaaxx

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xxmarissaaaxx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2143
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xxmarissaaaxx : Hi, I'm Marissa I love music, math, my friends, and anteaters. I'm autistic and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I don't comment a lot. The English language isn't my first so please don't hate me if I understand something wrong. :) OK well, I love you! Paka!

xxmarissaaaxx's page activity

Visits<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 7:45am<b>kazustach</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:35pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:17am<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:48am<b>TheBitchSlayer</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:57am<b>Razor011</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:17am<b>realmz123</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:57am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:20am<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:44am<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 11:58am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 1:06am<b>austin6767</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 12:30pm

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xxmarissaaaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

by candice / 11/01/2011 at 5:09am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

by nyaahaha / 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

by SallyGeen / 07/27/2011 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

by rimjob / 02/20/2010 at 5:36am / United States / Transportation

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

by diapermommy / 08/26/2009 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

by emogurl / 07/22/2009 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

by fattie4life / 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

by doubleds / 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous