About xxmarissaaaxx : Hi, I'm Marissa I love music, math, my friends, and anteaters. I'm autistic and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I don't comment a lot. The English language isn't my first so please don't hate me if I understand something wrong. :) OK well, I love you! Paka!
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xxmarissaaaxx's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals
by ajnmegs / 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by MI3 / 04/19/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML
by What? / 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
by orangechicken / 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
by really mom / 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
by needurlove / 04/15/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Love
by Were do we go... / 04/15/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…