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xxmarissaaaxx

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xxmarissaaaxx
  • Town/Country : St. Petersburg, Russian Federation
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 897
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xxmarissaaaxx : Hi, I'm Marissa I love music, math, my friends, and anteaters. I'm autistic and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I don't comment a lot. The English language isn't my first so please don't hate me if I understand something wrong. :) OK well, I love you! Paka!

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xxmarissaaaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14951) - you deserved it (3382)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (8522)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (8522)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19602) - you deserved it (4281)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12823) - you deserved it (24945)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7321) - you deserved it (31190)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (5446)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

#19618681
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (4728)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

#19615151
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6770) - you deserved it (37043)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:26am - work - by fired - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (2582)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

#19611188
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (3871)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (3814)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)



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