xxmarissaaaxx

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xxmarissaaaxx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2038
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xxmarissaaaxx : Hi, I'm Marissa I love music, math, my friends, and anteaters. I'm autistic and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I don't comment a lot. The English language isn't my first so please don't hate me if I understand something wrong. :) OK well, I love you! Paka!

xxmarissaaaxx's page activity

Visits<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 7:45am<b>kazustach</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:35pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:17am<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:48am<b>TheBitchSlayer</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:57am<b>Razor011</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:17am<b>realmz123</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:57am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:20am<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:44am<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 11:58am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 1:06am<b>austin6767</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 12:30pm

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xxmarissaaaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

by superstar / 03/30/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

by loueb17 / 02/15/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

by sixsix / 12/24/2008 at 6:19am / Intimacy