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xxmarissaaaxx

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xxmarissaaaxx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xxmarissaaaxx : Hi, I'm Marissa I love music, math, my friends, and anteaters. I'm autistic and I have Tourette's Syndrome. I don't comment a lot. The English language isn't my first so please don't hate me if I understand something wrong. :) OK well, I love you! Paka!

xxmarissaaaxx's page activity

Visits<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:44am<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 11:58am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 1:06am<b>austin6767</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 12:30pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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xxmarissaaaxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (4361)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (1632)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
274 comments

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (7077)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (5710)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (2162)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (2361)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (5156)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (12381)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (24487)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (2008)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (10813)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (16989)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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