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Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (1578)
On 08/10/2011 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (2279)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22827) - you deserved it (2934)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (4478)
On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (3316)
On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (13071)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (3919)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (1483)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (2520)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (3875)
On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (1584)
On 08/05/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (2258)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32267) - you deserved it (2656)
On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (23309)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by americanbln - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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