Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 05/10/2015 at 7:38am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3523
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About xxbvbsusanxx : I don't have much to tell you about me xD
Feel free to message me :D I like having new people to talk to xD
Country 'til I die
The first picture is me.
The dog in the second picture is mine. His name is Homer (NOT named after the Simpson) and he's a German Wirehaired Pointer (GWP for short). He's four, and a dork, but I love him anyway.
The third picture is one that I took while out mudding in Upsher County, West Virginia. If you somehow know where Tenmile, WV is, shoot me a message!!
Have a good day/night!!

xxbvbsusanxx's page activity

Visits<b>JZAMORA777</b> - 19 hours ago<b>fuzzy101606</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Shinybaconplays</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:19am<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:00am<b>hullarms</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:36pm<b>codys1</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:17pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:11am<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:14am<b>Saqib332</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:45pm<b>Hellish_Emu</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:58pm<b>ZiGgY576</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:00pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:15pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:18am<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:03am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:47pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:37am

Fucked!<b>Saqib332</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:45am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:51am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:07pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:32am

xxbvbsusanxx's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of xxbvbsusanxx's badges

xxbvbsusanxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10836) - you deserved it (33329)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (2385)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (7820)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML


Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (7476)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (1596)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (2627)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (13386)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (9537) - you deserved it (32607)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2775)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (4692)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12437) - you deserved it (40164)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (30809)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (2283)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: