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xxbvbsusanxx

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xxbvbsusanxx
  • Town/Country : America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xxbvbsusanxx : I don't have much to tell you about me xD
Feel free to message me :D I like having new people to talk to xD
Country 'til I die
Taken since 8/14/12

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xxbvbsusanxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13543) - you deserved it (19892)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (19658)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (3193)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (9468)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

#17863482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (1865)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (3592)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56191)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (7048)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

#17407697
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (3595)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46329) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (9733)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)



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