Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxbvbsusanxx

Search for a member

xxbvbsusanxx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1146
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About xxbvbsusanxx : I don't have much to tell you about me xD
Feel free to message me :D I like having new people to talk to xD
Country 'til I die
Taken since 8/14/12

xxbvbsusanxx's page activity

Visits<b>MarshallBlaire</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:20am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:05am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:53pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:56am<b>kinkysexter</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:57am<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:08am<b>drshn</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:19pm<b>magpie15</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:06am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:27pm<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:52am<b>gigglegigglesnor</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:21am<b>jamalamadingdong</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:12am<b>LaurenJadeK</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:05am<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:03am<b>Migole</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:37pm<b>hail_hydra</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Welgemoed</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:04pm

xxbvbsusanxx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xxbvbsusanxx's badges

xxbvbsusanxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (3820)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (7182)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4213)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4213)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (9135)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (27842)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (6229)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (1483)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: