Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxbvbsusanxx

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

xxbvbsusanxx

0Liked!

xxbvbsusanxxxxbvbsusanxx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1848
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About xxbvbsusanxx : I don't have much to tell you about me xD
Feel free to message me :D I like having new people to talk to xD
Country 'til I die
Taken since 8/14/12
The first picture is me.
The dog in the second picture is mine. His name is Homer (NOT named after the Simpson) and he's a German Wirehair Pointer (GWP for short). He's three and a dork, but I love him anyway.
The third picture is one that I took while out mudding in Upsher County, West Virginia. If you somehow know where Tenmile, WV is, shoot me a message!!
Have a good day/night!!

xxbvbsusanxx's page activity

Visits<b>LemonLimeSoda</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - yesterday at 10:53pm<b>Spigley</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:23pm<b>ChasingDreams</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:12am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:11pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:21pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:06pm<b>ddog04</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:32pm<b>8born8</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>divinitas</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:58am<b>ty4nier</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Chilly178</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:15pm<b>mllelaulau</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:57am<b>ZiGgY576</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>tanabanana13</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:20am<b>lolzarmy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:07am<b>ThunderKunt</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:33pm<b>r_bruce69</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:51pm

xxbvbsusanxx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xxbvbsusanxx's badges

xxbvbsusanxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (43575)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (6392)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56250) - you deserved it (9179)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

#20821467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36431) - you deserved it (8157)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (8887)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (20282)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49748) - you deserved it (8432)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51322) - you deserved it (11685)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62356) - you deserved it (5416)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61272) - you deserved it (9118)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47565) - you deserved it (6944)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48364) - you deserved it (3525)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42470) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (9786)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: