Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxSatansAngelxx

Search for a member

xxSatansAngelxx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2175
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xxSatansAngelxx : :3

xxSatansAngelxx's page activity

Visits<b>VHNox</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 11:11am<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 5:05pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:37pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 9:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 10:02pm<b>redneck_gal</b> - the 08/20/2011 at 12:40am<b>mandee612</b> - the 08/12/2011 at 12:55pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 08/11/2011 at 12:15pm<b>lolmyendoff456</b> - the 05/02/2011 at 3:53pm

xxSatansAngelxx's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of xxSatansAngelxx's badges

xxSatansAngelxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15635) - you deserved it (53346)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5139)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (4707)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (7767)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39325) - you deserved it (5292)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9652) - you deserved it (27654)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

#17618254
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (28611)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34741) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (8787)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: