About xxSatansAngelxx : :3
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19748) - you deserved it (6999)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (4007)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (2558)
On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (12390)
On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21072) - you deserved it (8334)
Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (3551)
On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2263)
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2628)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by mommydearest (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (7064)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (1387)
On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (2540)
On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (5180)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (5028)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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