About xxAlli : be yourself, fuck everything else.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139620) - you deserved it (32554)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207490) - you deserved it (10112)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59713) - you deserved it (7496)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (228511)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129269) - you deserved it (5329)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12084) - you deserved it (67934)
On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307151) - you deserved it (40936)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6960) - you deserved it (95861)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (4911)
On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11730) - you deserved it (54924)
On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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