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xxAlli

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xxAlli

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1255
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xxAlli : be yourself, fuck everything else.

xxAlli's page activity

Visits<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 11:31pm

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xxAlli's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (6919)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (29462)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55455) - you deserved it (2776)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7529) - you deserved it (107177)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (5186)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53425) - you deserved it (3151)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47479) - you deserved it (6710)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46929) - you deserved it (10186)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50380) - you deserved it (4922)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (75372)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78742) - you deserved it (22074)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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