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xxAlli

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xxAlli
  • Town/Country : Minnesota, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 892
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xxAlli : be yourself, fuck everything else.

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xxAlli's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

#15467016
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (4126)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm - kids - by Angie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (31526)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (6635)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

#15364230
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (3569)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (4452)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52655) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (3787)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (3164)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML

#14990533
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12213) - you deserved it (16937)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7451) - you deserved it (45807)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -



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