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xtna's favorite FMLs
by all arsed out / 03/06/2016 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Health
Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML
by Shy_Shiloh / 01/21/2016 at 3:58am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML
by dannidoll93 / 08/22/2015 at 10:59am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous
by Jae_Hellyun / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States / Love
by meesmees / 11/23/2013 at 5:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML
by OfficeDroneWoman / 07/23/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids
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