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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xtatik

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xtatik
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 825
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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xtatik's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (4386)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger then me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (28114)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML

#5247807 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (4432)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by alphabetman (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

#5235407 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (4048)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - love - by CaeliLady (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (2147)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be pet. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731 (446)

I agree, your life sucks (19375) - you deserved it (62619)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

#5190097 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (4817)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by fall3nrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (6048)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

#5149100 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Somessedup (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (111862) - you deserved it (8897)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

#5146235 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (11365) - you deserved it (28748)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

#5141524 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (14514) - you deserved it (38162)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (607)

I agree, your life sucks (87652) - you deserved it (18472)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (12089)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

#4847720 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (5834)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)



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