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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xstarsintheskyx

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xstarsintheskyx
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xstarsintheskyx : i kinda lalalalalalalaloveeeeee music.
especially all time low

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xstarsintheskyx's favorite FMLs

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (7646)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (67483) - you deserved it (5187)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (35571) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69508) - you deserved it (14725)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (52344) - you deserved it (2139)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

#3909858 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (12390)

On 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm - animals - by FlowerPower (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (44334)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

#3666100 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (45289) - you deserved it (7061)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (41963) - you deserved it (16634)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108 (458)

I agree, your life sucks (52356) - you deserved it (8698)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

#3451487 (533)

I agree, your life sucks (50691) - you deserved it (129469)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

#3427303 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (6175)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML

#3418907 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (54656) - you deserved it (13825)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (2186)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (64760) - you deserved it (1769)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)