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xrudeboyrock's favorite FMLs
by Username / 01/25/2010 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
by showerpower / 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by snickerdoodles / 01/08/2010 at 1:30am / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
by Sardine / 12/18/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML
by NoName / 12/03/2009 at 2:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
by Anonwymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (London) / Kids
by dudezilla / 10/13/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by fatty / 09/23/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
by NotCuteEnough / 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
by Shopgirl / 08/06/2009 at 9:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…