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Socialite
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33385) - you deserved it (2612)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10193) - you deserved it (22192)
On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (1789)
On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (1660)
On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (4722)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (2703)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by snickerdoodles - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5228) - you deserved it (22838)
On 12/18/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Sardine (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (12917)
On 12/03/2009 at 2:20pm - misc - by NoName (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (3818)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (2528)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (10819)
On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (2108)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (6117)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (72764)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, There was a fire in my building and the fire alarm went off when I was in the shower, I live on the 5th floor and had to run down the stairs naked because the fire was next door. When I got downstairs I got a $500 ticket for public nudity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (7601)
On 08/11/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by BulgaBoi21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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