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xpinkyswearx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
by idiot / 01/04/2013 at 5:13am / Sweden / Health
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by danjoylovefun / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
by TheGirl / 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New York) / Love
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- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…