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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xoxoRoseElixoxo

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xoxoRoseElixoxo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 324
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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xoxoRoseElixoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2271)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (1740)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

#7566820 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/25/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (861)

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (431091)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (373083) - you deserved it (413158)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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