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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xnty

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xnty
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 981
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xnty's favorite FMLs

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (2005)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (11607) - you deserved it (992)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (4460)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (727)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (1759)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokemon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (6268)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (5386)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (53669) - you deserved it (5475)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (9184) - you deserved it (26504)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (4280)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (5099)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (2169)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (32807)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (1667)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my 'corpse'. FML

#14881975 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (5499)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)