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xneonlightsx

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 4:13am) | Search for a member

xneonlightsx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1265
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (40628)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

#19667895
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (2041)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (6020)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6973) - you deserved it (50883)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (24776)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (2544)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (7796)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11129) - you deserved it (36377)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (4692)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (31789)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

#19566407
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (2154)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24361) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (4314)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States



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