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xneonlightsx

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xneonlightsx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1474
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

xneonlightsx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54918) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (4272)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36342) - you deserved it (8540)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (8561)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (4212)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29317) - you deserved it (6683)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (24371)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25366) - you deserved it (4805)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13315) - you deserved it (30323)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (17481)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (3974)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (5172)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)



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