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xneonlightsx

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xneonlightsx
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1023
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32457) - you deserved it (5454)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (5890)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (15031)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18023) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9666) - you deserved it (19658)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15703) - you deserved it (14615)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (2475)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (4181)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (4237)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5615) - you deserved it (15696)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States



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