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Offline (the 09/24/2016 at 4:11am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 October 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xneonlightsx : 20/F/Canada

xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

xneonlightsx's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of xneonlightsx's badges

xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

by hamboneghost / 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

by novaguy / 02/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States / Health

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2015 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

by LunaCrow / 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

by alostr1 / 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm / United States / Health

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

by gumchuck / 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

by Chemist-why / 01/30/2015 at 10:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

by TimJack18 / 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids