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xneonlightsx

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xneonlightsx
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1033
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36422) - you deserved it (2020)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (8943)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (7752)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (6687)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3148)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49373) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38528) - you deserved it (3920)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (7430)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)



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