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xneonlightsx

Offline (the 05/28/2015 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

xneonlightsx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1448
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xneonlightsx's page activity

Visits<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 04/10/2010 at 9:27pm

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xneonlightsx's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (4552)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (3722)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13492) - you deserved it (35311)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (2679)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (32361)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (3369)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348) - you deserved it (9986)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (3572)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132) - you deserved it (21)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (63)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29964) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (8238)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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