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xiaoxaio's favorite FMLs
by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Courtney / 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
by daddylove / 06/12/2011 at 12:21am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML
by anon80214 / 05/30/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML
by Adam / 05/24/2011 at 1:54am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like… Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to… Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't…