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xiaoxaio
  • Town/Country : Spokane, WA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 467
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xiaoxaio : Peoples misfortune make me feel better.

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xiaoxaio's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (5196)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (12391)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46808) - you deserved it (14935)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80449) - you deserved it (11868)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

#17102517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (1692)

On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (4294)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74509) - you deserved it (6151)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (5706)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

#16323667
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:54am - misc - by Adam -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67069) - you deserved it (6316)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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