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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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xgoldfishx

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xgoldfishx
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 February 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xgoldfishx : Ure right your life is fucked.

xgoldfishx's last visitors

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xgoldfishx's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (4006)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (9667)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

#4927386 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (10433) - you deserved it (28187)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML

#4812515 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (6799)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:52pm - love - by sabbydutchgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (66747)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)