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xfyre

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xfyre
  • Town/Country : Waynesboro, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1480
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (6359)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (21011)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (9486)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45793) - you deserved it (6807)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (61188)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (7933)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59364) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68149) - you deserved it (17319)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (12375)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

#16119488
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/10/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56734) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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