Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xfyre

Search for a member

xfyre

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2072
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>bobfrickindole</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (7968)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (21479)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37582) - you deserved it (10565)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53127) - you deserved it (8672)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (6057)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60589) - you deserved it (10416)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63447)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (3421)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (8488)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62001) - you deserved it (9682)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77036) - you deserved it (23647)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (12817)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44342) - you deserved it (3764)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

#16119488
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (4020)

On 05/10/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59066) - you deserved it (4670)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: