xfyre

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xfyre

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3826
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>jonjenkins96</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:13pm<b>bobfrickindole</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

by budbunny13 / 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

by screwedwoman27 / 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm / United States / Kids

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

by fattymcbutterpants / 06/19/2011 at 1:19am / United States / Work

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

by anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous