xfyre

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xfyre

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3702
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>jonjenkins96</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:13pm<b>bobfrickindole</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

by grenade / 07/17/2011 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy