Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xfyre

Search for a member

xfyre

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1828
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

#17290370
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (6171)

On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (15517)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

#17224016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (4718)

On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (94195)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (4686)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (7270)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (8414)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131488) - you deserved it (7340)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: