xfyre

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xfyre

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3408
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>jonjenkins96</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:13pm<b>bobfrickindole</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

by fugachumi / 08/07/2011 at 4:08am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

by Username / 08/07/2011 at 4:08am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

by James / 07/31/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health