xfyre

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xfyre

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3955
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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xfyre's page activity

Visits<b>jonjenkins96</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:13pm<b>bobfrickindole</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SnowYDG</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 12:44pm<b>julia_lynn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 11:17pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 12:17am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 4:15pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 4:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>rachexl</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 3:24pm<b>aksteve</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 9:55pm

xfyre's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xfyre's badges

xfyre's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

by sosadstudent / 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

by killercow / 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

by thesadone / 07/03/2010 at 2:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

by Few_Absolutes / 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy