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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xdevotchkax

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xdevotchkax
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 962
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xdevotchkax : HI. :D

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xdevotchkax's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (4670) - you deserved it (46209)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

#6716772 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (5296)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (3335)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (9045)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

#6402525 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (4259)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by mjperfetti84 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (1869)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (21872)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (8244) - you deserved it (23096)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

#6191568 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (4475)

On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (3340)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)