About xdafuze : The third pedal separates the men from the boys.
xdafuze's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
xdafuze's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
by Inkabadger / 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When… Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to… Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the…