About xdafuze : The third pedal separates the men from the boys.
xdafuze's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
xdafuze's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 10:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 6:49am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. I asked her if she wanted something to drink, and my brother reacted by snorting and calling me a "cuck". Apparently offering your girlfriend a drink means you're being cuckolded now. God, I hope he was adopted. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
by DopeDickDover / 10/26/2015 at 11:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML
by eggmarie / 07/10/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We… Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do… Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to…