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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xclegend613

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xclegend613
  • Town/Country : Twinsburg Ohio, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 February 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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xclegend613's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9784) - you deserved it (33528)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

#4474549 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (8323)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (919) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (13513)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (59833)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (30374) - you deserved it (2671)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (8828)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (210131)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (381650)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (448)

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (322860)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, silettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (114588)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737592) - you deserved it (60969)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)