xbryanxz

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xbryanxz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 729
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xbryanxz : I agree, your life sucks.

xbryanxz's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:59am<b>dylanfromtarget</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:33am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 8:50pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:56am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:12am<b>chelsayye</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 11:45pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 10:30pm<b>cheeriotolife</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:55am

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xbryanxz's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 3:12am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

by parker1993 / 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm / United States / Work

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

by Tay Tay / 11/19/2010 at 8:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 4:00am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

by Joel_28 / 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals