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x_messyjessy_x

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x_messyjessy_x

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About x_messyjessy_x : Hi um my name is jess I\\\'m 14 um I\\\'m funny I like cake and ninjas :) um I like music my favourite band is lostprophets um yeah and I like FMLs :)

x_messyjessy_x's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:40pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 8:31am<b>warsun</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:55am<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:52pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:44pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:43pm<b>xkore787</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:37pm<b>thatonedude21</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 7:05am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:07pm<b>phuckmylife_1</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 2:01pm<b>oA_Fiasco</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 11:49pm<b>rallets</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 10:48pm<b>flyerfan101</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 1:22pm<b>HomeAl0ne</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 5:44pm<b>Badshah29</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 7:08am<b>fthku</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 6:12am<b>TheWicked</b> - the 05/30/2011 at 4:24pm

x_messyjessy_x's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

x_messyjessy_x's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41454) - you deserved it (6213)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (7519)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (11202)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

#17342514
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (4615)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (8200)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39512) - you deserved it (13224)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (7520)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

#17307375
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (9047)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML

Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

#17214769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (6172)

On 07/22/2011 at 6:51am - kids - by TKDConnor92 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (94152)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (2403)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

#16983308
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (5310)

On 07/05/2011 at 4:27am - intimacy - by davidthegreat (man) - Japan



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