x_messyjessy_x

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x_messyjessy_x

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About x_messyjessy_x : Hi um my name is jess I\\\'m 14 um I\\\'m funny I like cake and ninjas :) um I like music my favourite band is lostprophets um yeah and I like FMLs :)

x_messyjessy_x's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm<b>skylanderninja</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:38am<b>JigsawLover</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 7:39am<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:10am<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:01am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:26am<b>facelick</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:40pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 8:31am<b>warsun</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:55am<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:52pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:44pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:43pm<b>xkore787</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:37pm<b>thatonedude21</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 7:05am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 5:07pm<b>phuckmylife_1</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 2:01pm

x_messyjessy_x's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

x_messyjessy_x's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 10:52am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

by HaHa Not Funny / 08/02/2011 at 12:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

by tamponface / 07/30/2011 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML

by IIIlibras / 07/27/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

by TKDConnor92 / 07/22/2011 at 6:51am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Kids

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

by MIB / 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

by davidthegreat / 07/05/2011 at 4:27am / Japan / Intimacy