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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xXxmurderxXx : Hi!!!!

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xXxmurderxXx's favorite FMLs

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39560) - you deserved it (11085)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (7917)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (4090)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (80629)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

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  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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