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xXxmurderxXx

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xXxmurderxXx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xXxmurderxXx : Hi!!!!

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xXxmurderxXx's favorite FMLs

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (9486)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (7318)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (66912)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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